Emotional Eating and Triggers

It's been a while since I posted and also a while since I weighed in. Since my last post I have been to Albuquerque, Feasterville, and now back in SD. I have nothing to report on the weight loss front. While I was in Alb I was able to work in some cardio and weight lifting, but my activity level was definitely much lower than a "normal" week. Haha, it seems that lately a normal week has been a week where things were off, instead of on, as they were last month. Oh well, this is a long process so there will be ups and downs. In Feasterville I basically drank and ate a lot, although I did dance for several hours at the reception and later at the bar, so I can probably count that as some cardio :)

At my last weight watchers meeting we talked about emotional eating. I had a thought during this lesson that attempting to lose weight can easily add stress and increase the emotional eating. I know that the week following a gain it can be hard to move forward. Of course, in someways a gain can be a motivator to get back on track, but on the flip side, it can be very upsetting and depressing. Yes, I have definitely shed a few tears after getting on the scale and seeing a gain. I practically started laughing in the meeting when I was thinking this through, I mean what an awful catch-22! If you are not successful at losing weight one week (which as we all know is def possible b/c weight loss can be incredibly difficult) that only sabotages us from losing further weight as we try to rebound from the blow. This sucks!

I met with Jackie this week. Our last couple sessions have been a little...boring? That might now be the right word, but we (I) have struggled to find things to say for a whole 5o mins. Well, not the case this week! Jackie and I talked through a trigger that we discovered in this session...social situations. Hello, this is definitely not something that is unique to me, or even something that I have not considered before, but I have never sat and thought/talked about it with someone for an hour before, so many new ideas surfaced.

Social situations are not just a trigger for eating too much (for me). Typically in these situations I am at %110 for everything. I talk louder, faster, and more, I laugh louder and more, I get warmer, I eat more, I drink more, I am much more likely to partake in things that I would not normally take on in other situations. And, I usually don't consider the ramifications of things in the same way (particularly eating and drinking). Honostly, I didn't really like discovering these things. I have always enjoyed, perhaps over-enjoyed being in large social situaions, I often think of myself as the life of the party, but why do I have to overdo everything? Why do I have to be the center of attention, and the loudest (lol, unless Summer is there!), and eat the most and drink the most? What's funny, too, is that it's not that anyone else encourages this behavior. It's all me. I need to learn to S L O W D O W N in these situaions and remain in total control of my actions and behaviors. Think before I put the 20th fry in my mouth, reconsider ordering a 3rd beer, not feel the need to be the most gregarious person in the room. Maybe it is a self-defense thing...if I am the most fun person in the room then no one will notice/care that I'm fat.

This week I have been tracking all my points, and I will go to Weight Watchers on Sat before my flight. I have struggling to get back on track with eating the correct # of points, but that's ok. Each day has been better than the one before.

PA so far this week:
M: 50 mins w/ alyssa (cardio and weight training)
T: 50 mins walk/run
W: 50 mins w/ alyssa (cardio and weight training)
Th: 50 mins w/ alyssa (cardio and weight training)

Only 9 days til the 1/2 Marathon!

Staying on track when sick

Oh my gosh! I am so bummed. I was on such a high after crossing the 10 lb mark...and then I got sick. This is the second time I have gotten sick since I joined WW, and it really puts a strain on trying to eat right and exercise regularly. So...what do you do? So far, I have just basically let myself go when I get sick, and try not to feel too bad about it. This week I have continued to track my points, despite knowing that I am not going to like what I see since I definitely overeat when I get sick (unless it's a stomach bug obviously). I'm not sure, but I think this is mainly due to a combo of staying at home (aka boredom eating) and not having the motivation to stay on track. I have searched online a bit trying to see if anyone else had better luck, but it seems that everyone has troubles when they are sick. Most people think that the best approach is to just take a few days and take care of yourself. I like this, although I don't want to give myself too many free passes. After my post about forgiveness, and this post, don't start thinking that I left myself off the hook with my goals!

Week 10

Total Weight Change Thus Far...10.8 lbs!!!

That's right people, I have crossed the 10 lb mark! I worked my butt off this week and I am so glad I was able to see that work correspond to a loss on the scale. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way, and it can be very discouraging, and believe me, I needed to see something good this week.

So, what did I do this week to help me lose over 2 lbs...

PA this week:
Sat: run/walk 5 miles
Sun: 50 mins w/ Alyssa
Mon: 3/4 mile run (no walking) 3/4 mile walk
Tue: 2 mile run/walk
Wed: 50 mins w/ Alyssa
Th: nada
F: 10 minute run, 5 min walk, 60 mins weight training
Sat/Sun: sailing... (def doesn't count, I only sweat b/c I was so hot!)

I tracked everything I ate this week and worked hard to stay w/in my points. This week was also aided by re-discovering my love of cooking. I cooked 5 times this week, and brought my left overs for lunch several days, so I didn't eat out nearly as much as normal. Plus, when I cook, that means that I have planned out a meal. When I plan my meals in advance I can make good decisions rather than trying to decide what to eat when I am already hungry and the cupboards are empty.

My success this week has helped keep me motivated. Now that I have passed the 10 lb mark, my next goal (15 lbs) seem so close. 15 lbs is a lot! And then I will get to 20...! Yeah! I will be down to my pre-grad school weight in a few months, and then who knows from there.

Summer-I am going to try and keep with your gains!

A note on forgiveness

I've been thinking a lot this week about forgiveness. I think this was spurred from the fact that I was "off the wagon" the past couple of weeks d/t travel and then being kind of sick for a week. I have been trying to reconcile with myself how to recover from this fall, when I had my epiphany. Forgiveness. It's very funny, forgiveness or the ability to forgive is one of the hallmarks of a strong relationship, yet it seems that the hardest person to forgive is yourself. And, I would argue, that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important you will ever have. So, with this in mind, I have forgiven myself for an off couple of weeks and am recommitting to stick to the weight watchers and Alyssa plan. I will never be able to move forward if I am constantly looking backwards at what I should have, could have done differently. Instead I am learning from these past 2 weeks, taking away what I can so I can avoid similar pitfalls in the future.

I am very excited for the next few weeks b/c I am going to work so hard!